1To You, O Lord, I lift up my soul. 2 O my God, in You I trust, do not let me be ashamed; do not let my enemies exult over me. (Psalm 25:1-2)

I find myself often trying to guard and protect myself from outward enemies perceived as a threat to myself, my family, my faith or, my way of life. I guess it’s pretty commonplace among creatures of the earth to do so. It is fascinating how quickly I have characterized an enemy as someone with a different opinion, religious or political perspective, foreign culture, economic or social status, or just an unfamiliar appearance.

I was reading Psalm 25 and the psalmist’s prayer celebrating trust in the Lord and the hope called for when faced by his enemies. In that moment I sensed the Lord calling me to recognize my greatest enemies which were not, as I might have thought, outside me, but inside me waging their own war, diminishing my discernment, provoking my fear, destroying my courage, and generally fragmenting my soul. These are the enemies of fear and anxiety, pride and arrogance, anger and defensiveness, and many more.

I have a tendency to characterize any perceived threat as the enemy, and more often than not, it is someone who I want to criticize or blame for the very thing I refuse to recognize in myself. I believe the Lord is trying to reveal something about my inner life. I also realize that it may not be a pleasant experience.

I can be increasingly paranoid about all the external enemies I imagine are attempting to disrupt my comfort and wellbeing. But the reality is my fear, insecurity, pride and general selfishness, those inner demons, seem to be more at the root of my problems than any external threat could ever be. I carry these enemies around with me an thus they are always causing some sort of disturbance in my life. Too much of the time I am to busy pointing out the flawed character and opinions of others rather than noticing the potentially poisonous origins of the thoughts, attitudes and perspectives I have regarding others. It seems that those internal enemies, the true enemies of my soul, are having a field day making a frightened, defensive and critical mess out of my life.

To counter this internal threat a well-organized strategy will be helpful. First of all, I must notice my thoughts, as the author Mary Margaret Funk encourages. It seems that any good strategy dealing with issues of the soul calls for an initial practice of self-awareness. I spend so much time trying to get from point A to point B in the most expedient way that I often miss the thoughts and attitudes that are manifesting themselves on the journey. It takes a certain amount of time to notice, reflect and consider one’s thoughts. In our desire to be efficient we often times eliminate pause from our lives in which we might have time and space to notice our thoughts, especially those that are destructive and debilitating. In my efforts to arrive in time, on schedule and before the deadlines, a climate of entitlement, impatience, stress and ultimately rage can be fostered. Often when I arrive at my intended destination I’m worn out, anxious and angry, rather than at peace.

If I take time to notice and name those thoughts and attitudes as they first appear I provide at least an opportunity to choose a different way of responding. Noticing our thoughts, self-awareness and an honest examination of what is going on inside us provides a foundation for what was considered a very important virtue, which was humility. When I recognize that the most insidious threat to my soul originates from within me, it tends to result in greater humility, rather than blaming others.

Noticing one’s thoughts only is a part of the strategy, for left with my own broken thoughts and poisonous attitudes I will either live in denial or in despair. The second part of this strategy involves cultivating a trust in God and His grace to supply what will sufficiently address our brokenness with His strength. Ancient Christian writers practiced many disciplines to assist in creating space for the presence and grace of God. In the particular place of noticing their thoughts, they practiced prayer and meditation on the Scriptures.

Evagrius Ponticus, a wise elder from the past, suggested that when a harmful thought was noticed one should lay a particular prayer or Scripture alongside that thought to counter it with inspired truth from the Holy Spirit. This practice Evagrius called “talking back”. It allowed one to address the harmful and negative threat, not with their own authority, but the authority of God’s Word and prayer. It is a practice that takes additional time when making one’s journey and it can seem inefficient, if all one is concerned about is meeting a deadline. But it can be a part of God’s transforming process if we will invest the time.

The third strategy is simply to remain in places of community where one can safely, without fear of condemnation, confess the true state of their soul. It is a practice that John Wesley in the early eighteenth century advocated for all those that were part of the Christian revival associated with the first Great Awakening. When we disconnect from the power of God there is no hope for true inner healing and transformation. When we disconnect from the Christian community, all that God might extend to us of life, love and forgiveness through the organism of His body has been diminished and compromised. It is this flesh and blood experience that Jesus represents to us in His body. It is the word becoming flesh and dwelling among us. The body of Christ, when operating in the power of the Spirit, provides a context where the inner demons of broken and sinful thoughts and attitudes can be safely, honestly and powerfully addressed in healthy ways. It is a significant means of God’s transforming work in our lives.

So, I am in the process of first of all recognizing that my greatest enemies may come from within me and that there are various practices that can help keep me attentive to the Lord while He stands alongside me with authority and addresses these inner enemies. I have suggested three strategies that have been practiced in the past. The psalmist recognized the power of change available to Him with these words, “Oh my God, in You I trust…” May you, like the psalmist discover how very trustworthy and faithful God is in dealing with the real threats to our soul and to our transformation. I hope this song will further your meditation on the Lord this day. Blessings!